


"he saves with a mighty hand"

by fannishliss



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Flash Gordon - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-30
Updated: 2011-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 14:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss/pseuds/fannishliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack!  The Doctor and Rose watch Flash Gordon, the very terrible movie.  This fic makes liberal use of the Queen song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"he saves with a mighty hand"

[](http://timelord1.livejournal.com/profile)[**timelord1**](http://timelord1.livejournal.com/) requested it!

~~Flash! a-ah! Savior of the Universe!  Flash! a-ah! He'll save every one of us!~~

"Hmph," the Doctor hmphed loudly, from his comfy position curled up around Rose on the library couch.

"What hmph," Rose queried. Half the fun of watching things with the Doctor was listening to him pick them apart.

"A college football quarterback, saviour of the Universe?" the Doctor asked in utmost scorn, eyes wide and eyebrows tilted sardonically.

"Welll," Rose countered, "maybe he saves the Universe by throwing a football-shaped bomb?"

"Nah," the Doctor said, grinning brightly once again, "that was Tully Bascomb.  Good man.  I knew him."

"What?"

"Yeah, I went by Will Buckley in those days,"  he yawned.

Rose smelt a story in that, but tore her eyes back to the screen.  They'd started this movie three times already and despite the fact that the Doctor claimed to love it — "Brian Blessed!" he'd been known to shout, at random, repeatedly — they never got very far into it before they lost all track of what was going on.

~~Seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactical upsets~~

"'S usually the Master, sad to say," the Doctor sniffed.

"Or the Daleks," Rose frowned.

"Where's a jaunty Cyber army, always a lark," the Doctor commented. "I do not trust that Prince," he said, waving a finger at the screen.

~~Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!~~

"Yup, 's the Master, told you!"

Rose nodded as Dale Arden got confused.  ~~What's happening Flash?~~ She could identify.

~~Only the Doctor, formerly of Gallifrey, has provided any explanation~~

"What?" Rose said, leaning forward.  The Doctor frowned and snuggled her back onto the couch.

"Friend in the DVD editing business, worked on the soundtrack, maybe a few teensy little improvements," the Doctor whispered.  "Hush."

Rose sat back into the Doctor-shaped cuddle.  It was certainly no hardship.

~~Flash a-ah! He's a miracle!~~

"Quite right," the Doctor said. Rose nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.

~~This morning's unprecedented solar eclipse is no cause for alarm~~

"Never is really," he murmured.

"Not as long as you're around," she whispered, stroking his sideburn absently.

"Mmm," he said.

~~Flash! a-ah! King of the impossible!  He's for every one of us, Stands for every one of us!  
He saves with a mighty hand every man, every woman, every child, with a mighty flash!~~

"Fightin hand," he said, wiggling the fingers.  Rose kissed the hand that had never let her fall and never would.  

~~General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.  --What do you mean Flash Gordon approaching? Open fire! All weapons! Dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back his body!~~

"Does she remind you of Jack?" the Doctor murmured.

"No!" Rose laughed.  But somehow there was something to it.

~~Flash! a-ah!  Gordon's alive! Flash! a-ah! He'll save every one of us!~~

"Always," Rose said fondly.  "Thank goodness."

"I could never do it alone, though," he said, his eyes trained on her.  

She saw in those timeless, stormy eyes, just how desperately he needed her. Giving herself to him, forever, they'd driven him back from the brink of his madness.  

He thrashed a little on the couch, getting into an even comfier position, and lowered his lips to hers.

"This is the romantic bit," he murmured, caressing her lips with cool, feathery Gallifreyan kisses that almost tickled, but filled her with so much joy she was ready to burst.  

They smiled at each other and kissed and smiled all the way through the bridge.

~~Just a man with a man's courage—you know he's nothing but a man, and he can never fail.  No one but the pure at heart may find the Golden Grail, oh oh, oh oh.~~

Rose burst out laughing.  "Did Freddie Mercury just say something about the Holy Grail?"

"Ah yes!"  the Doctor said, excitedly, hitting pause and springing from the couch, waving his arms widely about. "To the north there lies a cave, the cave of Cardiff, wherein, carved in mystic runes, upon the very living rock, the last words of Owen Harper make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail."

"What?" Rose said.

"Sh!" He waved, cleared his throat mightily and went on in a heavy Scottish accent.

"But follow only if you are men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your strength or courage come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth."

"What an eccentric performance!" laughed Rose.

The Doctor bowed deeply, raised his arms to accept her thrilled applause, bowed again, and modestly resumed his place on the sofa, unpausing.

Repeated bass notes filled the room with urgency, courtesy of the Tardis's magnificent Dolby Surround.

"Doctor!  Doctor! I love you! but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!" Rose said urgently, breasts heaving, eyes imploring, lips full and glistening and pulled up in a wicked smile.  

The Doctor fell upon her with a growl. "Time Machine, Rose.  Time Machine."

Somehow, with all the kissing and what came after, they never actually managed to watch that movie.  

On the screen the Hawkmen dove, and the Tardis dimmed the library lights and faded the sound out to nothing.  The evening's entertainment was just getting started, and night on a time machine lasts just as long as you need it to last.


End file.
